From Despair to Discovery: The Beginning of My Hero’s Journey
As I have written in previous blogs, some of the most important and transformative moments of our lives are those filled with challenges. These are the times when the "pain teacher" appears, guiding us to course-correct and take full responsibility for the direction of our lives. I've shared a bit about my experience living in the US, where I had a scholarship to play tennis for an American university. On paper, it seemed like an incredible opportunity, and in many ways, it was. However, in reality, I was completely miserable. I found no excitement in what I was doing, and the pain of being there led me into a deep depression.
Before this experience, I had tasted true freedom and adventure. It wasn’t just a mental construct or superficial idealization. Through my own life experiences, I had a clear contrast that showed me there was a different way of living—a way filled with sustained novelty, excitement, and passion. But I knew deep down that there was a significant price to pay for that life. It meant losing friendships, letting go of the sense of "safety" that college supposedly offered, and being willing to look like a failure to my environment. It meant confronting all my fears and taking full responsibility for my life's direction.
Dropping out of college had a profound symbolic meaning. There was so much uncertainty that it caused a lot of anxiety and pressure, but paying that price was cheaper than the cost of staying in a place that had no soul or purpose. It wasn’t just about finishing my major; it was about where that path was leading me. I could see the trajectory of most people who took that road, and it wasn’t a trajectory that excited me at all. Quite the opposite—it was a trajectory I wanted to avoid at all costs. I didn’t want to end up in a corporate job working a 9 to 5. I wanted to travel, meet new people, make connections, stay involved with tennis, and explore other realities, activities, and professions. It was scary because there was so much uncertainty and I didn’t know which steps to take. I knew this was going to be a very lonely path with many challenges to overcome, but I decided to take the step and jump into the abyss. The pain of living a life I wasn’t enjoying and that didn’t align with my desired direction was far greater than the pain of confronting all these fears and uncertainties.
In Joseph Campbell’s "The Hero with a Thousand Faces," he describes the hero’s journey as a cycle where the hero ventures from the ordinary world into a region of supernatural wonder, faces fabulous forces, and wins a decisive victory. The hero then returns from this mysterious adventure with the power to bestow boons upon his fellow man. My journey felt very much like the beginning of this hero’s journey—the departure into the unknown.
"There is always some form of divine help waiting on the other side of these big decisions. When I decided to drop out and returned to my hometown in Chile, I entered a proactive phase of finding ways to embark on that exploratory and adventurous journey. I had some skills and experience to capitalize on, but without any help from the divine, it wasn’t going to be easy. Synchronistically, my sister started working as a flight attendant for one of the major Chilean airlines, which gave me the chance to get benefits for traveling at an extremely reduced price. That was gold to me because, without it, I doubt I would’ve been able to embark on the experiences I was about to undertake.
Even with the opportunity to travel affordably, I still needed some money, so I started playing money tournaments to save up and begin my world travels. A childhood friend from tennis had moved to New Zealand some years ago—a part of the world that always intrigued me and I always wanted to visit. So, I shot him a message to see if he could accommodate me on his couch for some time. He very generously accepted. I saved up enough to buy a one-way ticket, and off I went. No concrete plans, no safety net, not even enough money to return to Chile—nothing but a clear vision. I wanted to explore, to learn from real life, not just from books or rigid systems. I wanted to find my way, even if it was chaotic, because I wanted to play in the playfield of freedom, no matter the cost.
Campbell once said, "The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek." There I was, facing one more challenge. It brought a lot of fear, but it wasn’t the same kind of fear I felt in college. In college, it was the fear of missing out on life—missing out on living a truly fulfilling and exciting life. That was my biggest nightmare. The fear I felt now was more about dealing with uncertainties—how I was going to figure things out professionally, financially, and relationally. I was completely on my own and had to build from scratch. Despite the hurdles and challenges I was about to face, there was an inner fire, motivation, and hunger to live life on my own terms. I was motivated to make this happen. I traveled with my tennis racquets, knowing that my tennis career, exposure, and knowledge were my most valuable skills, especially in a country where tennis wasn’t too developed.
I remember my first week going to tennis clubs, introducing myself, and looking for any opportunities for work. After some days, I met some great people who welcomed me into their clubs and allowed me to start giving lessons. All the amazing people and circumstances that occurred on that journey are stories themselves. Long story short, I was able to start coaching and sustain myself financially, which was crucial for my next steps. I stayed in New Zealand for three months, and what I learned there was undoubtedly more valuable than all the time I spent in college. I faced numerous life tests and challenges, starting with arriving in the country with just $200 in my pocket.
By the end of my three-month stay, I had saved enough money to embark on my next adventure in Asia. I dreamed of buying a one-way ticket and exploring new countries—something I thought about constantly during those depressed days in college. I dreamed of this moment, and there I was, about to go on my dream trip. This is just one chapter of a sequence of adventures that this approach has led me to. But looking back, these first steps were the most difficult and challenging. These are the steps that set the course of your life in a completely different direction. Every time we choose from our authenticity and passion, there is a deeper guide in life that conspires to help us along the way. No matter how crazy and impossible it may seem at the beginning, the path that had absolutely no clarity at the start of the journey begins to clear up as we walk it. There is a magical aspect of life supporting us—there is no doubt about it. The question is whether we are ready to take the necessary steps to let that part of life show up.
Stay tuned for what life had in store for the years to come. I really hope these short stories serve as an inspiration and guide for you to take that leap of faith. If there is one person out there who finds value in these experiences and is moved to pursue their dreams, I am fulfilled.
Much love,
Matias