Owning Your Journey: The Path from Victim to Protagonist
This is likely to be the most important internal shift we can make in our lives: transitioning from being a victim of life and circumstances to being the protagonist of our own story. It means taking full responsibility and accountability for our lives. The moment you realize nobody is here to save you, that nobody cares about your victimization and your painful story, is transformative. I know it may sound harsh, but I’ve seen it in my own life. I’ve been there. I was a victim of life for many years, firmly believing that all the “misfortunes” and unprivileged upbringing would keep me limited forever.
I created a story around all the aspects of my life that poisoned my belief systems. I was the poor kid without the money and resources to pursue his dreams, while everyone around me seemed to have what I lacked. I was the kid with the dysfunctional family that didn’t provide the stability I needed to thrive. I didn’t have a strong support system, no financial support to pursue what I loved. These were painful experiences as a kid but little did I know that they had a purpose.
Fortunately, as time passed, I started to come to terms with my experience. I realized there was nothing I could do about the past and that I had no control over it. What I did have control over was how I chose to interact with that life story. I knew this victim mentality wouldn’t bring me closer to the results I desired. I had clear objectives and dreams, but to achieve them, I needed to shift my attention and reframe the story I was telling myself. I didn’t need to change anything in my outer world; I just needed to shift how I perceived my story.
It wasn’t easy as a kid, but as I grew up, things started to make sense. The “unprivileged” childhood I believed I had wasn’t that unprivileged anymore. I started to see how all the financial struggles, the discomfort, the lack of stability and support were blessings in disguise. I began observing these life experiences from an empowered position, not from a victim’s lens. I started looking at them as events that led me to gain strength. I understood that all the challenges and struggles I went through ultimately shaped the person I am today. These difficulties were necessary to build a strong foundation, character, resourcefulness, creativity, and resilience.
The more progress I made toward my dream life, the more I realized how crucial past struggles were. They provided me with a solid toolkit that allowed me to thrive. Today I can say that without all the struggles and challenges I had I wouldn't be able to live the life of fulfillment I am living. The more I live, the more convinced I am that life is an internal game. Our beliefs, convictions, and mindset drive our behaviors. It isn’t external. Everything happening in your external world reflects your beliefs and inner reality. If you aren’t getting the results you want in life, it likely isn’t because of your story, family, job, or boss. It’s because of you.
I understand why living in victimhood is popular; it can lead to a sense of validation and being seen when others feel sorry for you. But I think you can see how harmful and limiting that approach to life is. The idea of this blog is to create a space for reflection on the areas where we may be acting out the victim archetype and how it may be limiting us, preventing us from living up to our potential.
I have been very conscious of this process and have dissolved much of my victimhood mentality. However, that doesn’t mean I don’t have any victimhood left in my life. Writing about it helps me reflect on the areas where I still hold the poison of victimhood. We all act out our victimhood to some extent in different areas of our lives, and that’s okay. We are human beings, not perfect. But what’s important is to bring awareness to it first. Only then can we recognize the areas where we can take more protagonism and empowerment.
Remember, we don’t have the ability to change the past, the way we were raised, how people treated us, or the challenges we’ve gone through. What we have the power to change is how we relate to our life experiences. We can change the internal narrative about our story to one that empowers us. All our challenges and struggles are blessings in disguise if we choose to see them that way. Challenges and “misfortunes” can lead us to live a truly purposeful and fulfilling life, only if we choose to. I’ll say it one more time: life is played inwardly. You have the power to co-create reality in the most beautiful ways.